Too Cool to Care

Khaleej Times (LIFE) / 21 March 2013

 

THERE IS something I quite like about Facebook — that little, blue ‘Like’ button.

It’s a blessing in a fastidious world, where making impressions and earning brownie points is as tough as getting a raise at work these days. It has become an effective agent of appreciation in a tight-lipped age that for some reason can’t utter the ‘Wow!’ too easily.

A niece recently wrote in asking me to add some punches in a speech she had prepared for a contest at her pubic speaking club. She wanted me to add a few gag lines that could make people crack up, because, in her words, “people there don’t laugh easily”. Now, why people don’t laugh easily is as much a mystery to me as why people don’t applaud at a concert or a man doesn’t tell his wife that she looked pretty in her new outfit. The reason, in my limited understanding, is that we are very stingy with open acknowledgment.

The popular theory is that appreciation at the work place breeds complacency; that it reduces excellence to mediocrity. The added danger, according to some, is that it leads to expectation of an incentive for the good job done. So the boss opts to keep words of appreciation in his chest pocket than hand it out. It is as true of the corporate world as it is in the domestic set up. Housewives and house help will vouch to being equal victims of this grudging. Ask them. Wangling out a mere “well done” is as impossible as squeezing superglue out of a year-old tube. 

I wonder if you have noticed our behavior as audience at concerts and live shows. We had been to two music performances this month, and on both occasions, the host had to appeal to the crowd to be generous with their applause.  At the second event, the honourable Consul General of India, in his inaugural address, rightly pointed out that it was as if we had “fragile hands” that was at the risk of breaking if we put them together. What an inglorious tribute to our pathetic sense of appreciating talent and giving due credit to those who deserve!

Oh, did someone out there say that well-mannered people don’t overreact and there is prudence in muted responses? Come on folks, discretion on such occasions is not the better part of valour. It doesn’t matter what the person next to us thinks about us, let us hang bells and whistles to our manner when it comes to appreciating effort and excellence, and imagine, it doesn’t cost a dirham!

Nothing satisfies an artist as knowing that he has regaled us with his performance, so let’s make him know that from the distance of our seats. Nothing satisfies a chef at a restaurant than knowing that his guest has had a delectable meal, so let’s tell him that we just had the best biriyani ever. After all, he never gets to hear our ungracious belches, and who knows who pockets the tips we leave?

Nothing thrills our children than knowing that their parents consider them intelligent and smart, so let them know. No, they won’t ‘climb on our head’ if we know our job. Nothing gratifies a dedicated worker than knowing that his management values his work. So give the devil his due and he will not rue about the long pending hike. Let’s raise a toast to our friends and family and tell them once in a while what they mean to us. No, it is not mushy or clumsy, it’s just being audibly grateful.

The next time we have an opportunity to applaud, let’s do it loud till our palms tingle. There is a lot that a generous heart and two unrestrained hands can do than a small, blue button on a social networking site can.