Picture Imperfect

Khaleej Times / (Point of View)17 August 2013

 

I HAVE been lately hassled by a repeatedly failing task — getting a decent photograph of mine taken. A friend has been asking me to get the pathetic profile picture on my blog changed and I haven’t been able to do it for a reason that I now believe is a veritable truth — I don’t have a ‘photogenic face’.

 I have tried everything — from taking simple self portraits on my smart phone to posing ridiculously in front of advanced SLRs; from getting a salon touch up before a photo shoot to flashing fake smiles and expressions. But they have all returned pitiable results of making me look like a caricature of what I truly am. The latest attempt even made me want to tag a caption of ‘a bloated, marinated chick pea’ to it!

 That might sound a tad bit self-deprecating, but let me clarify. Not being photogenic is not the same as being not good looking. The matrimonial advertisement that my parents ran in the newspaper at the time of groom hunting for me described me as ‘fair and good looking’, and I don’t dare to doubt their estimation and conviction about me. Yet the photographs that they took of me at that time in our home camera were such that many a men lost a great opportunity of having me for a wife by saying ‘No’ in haste.

 What goes wrong between a face and the camera it gazes into at is a mystery to me.  How can a fairly good looking face turn so gross in its replica? Greater is the mystery of one wanting to look endearing in a pictorial representation of oneself. I have met many people who have reservations about posing for pictures and shy away from any attempt to have them pictorially documented in an album.

 It is hard to convince them that pictures are mere moments caught and preserved for posterity and they barely have any bearing on their personality. If it is mean and nasty comments that one is concerned about, then consider this — how many times has someone really said that you looked like a hag in a picture or said you are a photographic disaster or a camera man’s disgust? I have had people tell me that I looked tired, a little fat or a little tanned, but never has anyone remarked that I looked grotesque. People are civil, trust me.

 We have no need to create impressions with our photographs unless we are stars and celebrities. We have no obligation to Photoshop our images unless we are creating a fashion profile to launch a career in modelling. To those in the show biz, it is imperative, for it is what the world sees of them. It is what they live off and survive on. It is the facade that sustains their lives. The next time we ogle at an ethereal looking movie star’s poster, let us remember the agony of having to look good in every shot they give and our freedom to look whatever the camera pleases to make out of us.

 No one who knows us will love us differently because of a poor, graphic depiction of the real persons that we are. Knowing what we all are in real, matters. Photographs are impressions twice removed from the real persons we are and we create these images for two reasons — to lock in moments and to enhance self esteem. Whether to build memories or a myth, being photogenic barely matters. What matters is the joy of saying ‘cheese’, and I’ve come to fully accept this idea now.

Tail piece: For reasons best known to her, my mother-in-law had insisted on her son seeing me in person instead of my snaps at the time of our proposal. Had he seen my pictures, would he have rejected me? Oh well, it doesn’t matter to know that now!