Writing our remembrance speech

Khaleej Times (ISSUES) / 24 August 2012

Every time the world loses a living icon, we are treated to reams of tributes in the days that ensue. It makes the loss feel larger than it truly is; the person more real than he actually was and the tributes themselves contrived, and obligatory.

And after the initial outpouring has run its course, gentle criticisms start trickling in, making us feel that the hero was less super and more human, after all. The eulogies that seemed so authentic a few days ago, convert to gentle disparagement of a mercurial life that ended in ignominy, or glory blown to bits by common flaws, or simple blemishes that we failed to see so long.

From Michael Jackson to Steve Jobs to Rajesh Khanna, we saw it happen in recent times. Although frailty plays peek-a-boo with their names in the aftermath of their passing away, their lives are largely defined by the greatness of their deeds. They are remembered for the pleasant things than the odd chinks, and when the world mourns their loss we know that it is because they had touched our lives in some unique manner.

Is that how it will be when we leave the arena? It’s time to take stock of our innings here.

Imagine that you have been on a guided world tour with 15 other families. Places seen, pictures taken, milestones reached, mementoes collected, connections made, friendships built and life experiences shared. Ask anyone — upon return — memories about the people you were with will be more enduring than the places you visited. Every time you view the album, thoughts about your fellow travellers will emerge, evoking a smile, a fond thought, a smirk or a sneer. Remember, those viewing your pictures at the other end will be summoning up images of you too — gentle or otherwise — depending upon how you had conducted yourself. It is this that makes the trip worthwhile than the mountain views and museum visits. The mementoes and milestones are part of personal fulfillment, while impressions that we leave behind are for the world to reminisce.

At the time of our departure if we can have people lament over the loss of a dear friend and human being than just of a celebrity, if we have a eulogy at our memorial service that extolled our genuineness than our sterling track record, if people acknowledged that it was a life well lived, then we would have truly made the grade.

Come to think of it, won’t it be worth the while to try and draft our own remembrance speech, and let it chart the course of our life? Let there be something in it beyond making millions and marking anniversaries. Nothing can be a disservice to our existence in this world than characterizing it in terms of possessions and popularity.

We may or may not engineer new things for the world to revel in, may or may not be able to create jobs with an enterprise, may or may not regale millions with our tunes, find new methods to alleviate pain and poverty or get to the bottom of the big bang theory. But there is one thing we can all accomplish in our own little inconspicuous ways — leave lasting foot prints on the sands of time. How we do it amidst this hurly burly of modernity is for each of us to decipher. It may not be possible for everyone to make a podium finish, but if we have had a good bout, we will still be good enough to be remembered; just that we need to find the best way of bowing out of the ring, medals or no medals.

It shouldn’t matter if you go to the grave as a rich person, as Steve Jobs said. What should matter is going there as a good person and transferring your innate goodness to the earth to be recycled back into the world.